How to plan your perfect wedding

So you want to know how to plan your perfect wedding day, what I mean by that is YOUR perfect wedding day. There is one key principle to making that happen… Tell no one until they receive the invite! Have all the details arranged for before you tell anyone anything! You see, once you share your intentions to have a wedding everyone will want to put in their two cents, and as a result your special day becomes their special day.

For example, if you ask for help obtaining addresses from your mother and future mother in law, you will find that the 10 or so addresses that you requested will turn into a list of 38 addresses that “must be invited”. And, when you remind them that you are paying for the wedding on a very limited budget, they will torture your soul to get what they want. No, mother, I do not want to invite your friend from work who I have never met and know nothing about. The impending battle will finally end when you reach your limits and yell out “If you want them to be invited, you pay for them!”, and storm out, with a powerful door slam. As you can probably tell from the bitterness of these words, I know this from experience.

It is important that you know, this will only work if you can do it with confidence and authority. Do not ask for help, do not show weakness in your decisions, do not leave room for anyone to interpret your words as a need for assistance. At the first sign of weakness or indecision they will pounce on you like a kitten on a catnip toy, batting you around like a small, stuffed mouse. Any question they ask, you give an answer with excited details (they will buy it if your excited), even if you don’t have an answer yet.

“Did you get a cake yet?”

“Yes, it’s white buttercream with a beautiful scroll design, raspberry and cream filling. It’s going to be perfect, I’m so excited!”

Or you can blow it, and that looks something like this:

“Did you get a cake yet?”

“I looked but I haven’t decided on a design yet”

“Well, you have to get flowers on the cake to match your bouquet. And, of course it has to be a chocolate mousse filling! With one of those pretty cake toppers, we can go next week to pick it out, I know the perfect bakery. It’s expensive but it will be worth it.”

“I’m not a fan of chocolate mousse.”

“Don’t be silly, everyone likes chocolate mousse!”

I think you see where I’m going with this.

I humbly implore you to heed my advice, I am on my knees begging you: make the happiest day of your life, yours!

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